Not making much sense [as usual]
I'm going to break down eventually.
I hate having these scars. These tiny but loud reminders of my mental instability. And lately I feel like I need it again, but I'm strong enough (I think) to push those thoughts aside. But I'm still not strong enough to not have a razor with me. The idea of knowing I CAN'T cut only makes me want to cut, or something whack like that. Its like some part of my mind is teasing the other.
I don't make much sense these days.
It's inevitable.
I constantly find myself feeling overwhelmed again, feeling angry, lonely, and just irritated with every breath that comes out of anyone elses mouth. Not a good sign.
I've been working a lot lately. And next week I'm scheduled to work every night, Monday thru Saturday. So my schoolwork seems to be falling behind, but I'm trying. Sort of. But I'd rather be at work til midnite (like I have the past two nights) than at home with my parents, feeling sorry for myself, or torturing myself with thoughts of food again.
I've been doing well when it comes to food though. Its true, I'll never look at or think about food normally, but I have been eating enough. Maybe more than enough, because its become my comfort again.
But whatever. I think I'm beyond caring.